#finally found the time to actually play this game. it's already in my top 5 games of all time. i'm not even done with it yet.

[vidapon]

it's fine

[voiidegg]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR AA: DUAL DESTINIES UNDER THE CUT :D

i finished the game this morning, i’m on 5 hours of sleep, i stayed up all night playing it because i got way too invested.

NOT ONCE. NOT ONCE DID I SUSPECT THAT IDIOT OF A DETECTIVE. IT WAS ONLY UNTIL THE VERY LAST MINUTE THAT I REALISED. i felt absolutely sick to my stomach when i realised. i don’t even know why i trusted him so much, i literally thought he was just irrelevant to everything. there were NO HINTS. my brain absolutely HURT

hell, even I HAD DOUBTS about athena. i thought perhaps the murder was just a huge mistake. i figured out that athena must have been the one to put her mothers body on the operating table because she would think it could fix her, but i was in the dark about everything else. the MINUTE athena talked about blood getting on the handle, i knew it couldn’t have been her, i was so relieved.

i cannot begin to tell you the absolute CHILLS i got when miles revealed that the real bobby fulbright is DEAD. and had been for a year. that was the most chilling thing i’ve heard in this franchise so far and i don’t even know why it got to me so much. i think it was the thought of how the real fulbright had family, and nobody confirmed his death for a whole year, so that family was wondering where he had gone. it hit me right in the feels cuz personal experience :,) i don’t even know if that fact is true, it’s just something i thought of.

this case was absolutely amazing. usually i (and i’m sure many others) can figure out the culprit just before the final trial, but i was left in the dark for so long. even when that cctv image of the phantom showed up, i knew it had to be somebody we already knew, because why would they introduce a new person so late into a case? so i looked at every profile hard, AND WHEN I GOT TO FULBRIGHT’S, I RULED HIM OUT, SIMPLY BECAUSE I COULDNT LINK HIM TO THE MURDER 7 YEARS AGO. i was at such a loss on who it could have been.

and then, the one statement aura had after establishing the escape route. and i froze. this is by far the best case in the franchise, i couldnt stop playing even if i wanted to. there were so many bone chilling moments, like the emotions overload from blackquill, the NO emotions from the phantom, the messing around with emotions from him, finding out who he was posing as, him getting straight up sniped in the courtroom, apollo questioning athena.

and GOD SPEAKING OF APOLLO the way he just suffered alone i cAANTT ugghh. and poor athena… she was just a kid T^T

also i revoke my previous statement about blackquill. he’s a good guy. can be annoying, but he’s good at heart. i enjoyed his character in the end. i can’t imagine how furious he must have been when his phantom of 7 years was right under his nose the entire time. blackquill did everything to protect athena and i found it so endearing, i love what they have, it’s so sweet. i think i just need to learn to give prosecutors a chance, because i always dislike them until the finale, then when their motives are revealed, i see sense and i like them.

i was so angry i didn’t get to see the phantom’s face, but after sleeping on it i’ve realised that’s actually better than seeing his face. i dunno it just feels more right for his true face to mean nothing.

so, to conclude my ramble, what a game. so worth me staying up all night til 10am for :] i don’t think anything can top that, but i’ll be pleasantly surprised if it happens

i may follow up this post with some video reactions i clipped, we’ll see :D

[genopaint]

We're already on week 40!? It's time to start October!!

As always you can follow me on twitter where they’re posted daily

And read more info on each of them below the cut

Daily Dragon #273 - Craggodon

Large dinosaur-like dragons that tend to live in large rocky areas without much plant life. They actually feed off minerals and geodes found inside rocks so you often see them eating boulders and cracking them into pieces for their young.

That's right! One more alt media dragon!! This time it's made of clay! Which is a HARD medium to work with. But it is fun for sure! This didn't come out at all how I wanted it but I think it's funny and cute enough to work lol

I've got maybe 5 more alt media dragons planned off the top of my head so we'll see whenever I get around to them. I love drawing but it can be draining to draw 200+ things the same way every day lol

Daily Dragon #274 - Ender Dragon

Did you know that despite having played the game for probably billions of hours and the fact that the final boss is a DRAGON I've actually still never beaten Minecraft? Feels crazy to think about. I should get on it one day.

Daily Dragon #275 - Dullahan Green

And of course, the first Dragon of Halloween season is this funny headless Dragon Girl :)

Daily Dragon #276 - The Dragon Knights

Of COURSE the winner for September was the dragon that was 4 characters in one... I mean- THANK YOU ALL FOR VOTING!! Seriously I'm glad you all liked these 4 so much. Just 4 regular high schoolers, nothing to see here!

Here's the results:

Dragon Knights - 4 Votes Blaze Baphomet - 3 Votes Cumulusaur - 2 Votes ???BAHAMUT??? - 1 Vote Decibadon - 1 Vote Greendragon - 1 Vote Dragon Czar - 1 Vote Tarnivore - 1 Vote

September was a pretty strong showing for dragons I think. My favorites are probably between Caimaul, Cave Dino, and Dragon Czar! I loved doing ones in different mediums and I'm excited to try even more in the coming months! It's Halloween month now which means I'll have to do some seriously spooky dragons ASAP! Plus, get ready for day 300 which is fast approaching, I'll need all of your help to make the final community dragon come together, so get the ideas flowing!!

It's probably obvious but I'm coming out of my hiatus. I'll just complain a little bit but it was generally a total failure of a hiatus lmao. I won't go into details but I gotta get back to work ASAP! So expect my commissions to reopen soon enough I suppose!!

Daily Dragon #277 - Plantodon

I've been a little obsessed with Venus Fly Traps lately in case it wasn't obvious lol. These dragons are actually fully made of plants, so they're incredibly weak to fire!

Daily Dragon #278 - Bananusaur

Large dinosaur like dragons that hide in tropical locations, attempting to blend in with bananas that grow in the area. While they can't get far, they can flap the back 2 peel-like appendages to fly short distances

Daily Dragon #279 - Raohgon

Large menacing dragons that typically live in grasslands and fields. They can use their wings to lift them off the ground and carry them through large fields quickly. The energy blast they fire from their powerful jaws is incredibly destructive!

[thetreestumptherapist]

I PLAYED ON THE BLOOD GULCH MAP!!!

So, my sibling and I are working through the original xbox halo 2 campaign but on our xbox 360 (RIP 360 support). And every time we go to split-screen it's set for slayer on ivory tower. Well, the other day we decided to see what that was about so we hit play instead of switching to co-op campaign like we usually do. There is a special kind of fun about killing your sibling over and over again in a videogame.

And today we decided to explore the other game modes and maps. Slayer is the only mode you can do with 2 people, so that was a slight bummer. But, then we saw it. That beloved map introduced to us by Red vs Blue. It was called Coagulation, but the terrain was unmistakable. We spawned in, I as red, my sibling as blue. And we decided to explore a bit of that glorious map ourselves for the first time ever. We will definitely be returning.

I found Sheila. She wasn't very useful with the banshee in the sky. May she rest in peace... I couldn't manage to find Grif's screaming cave, but I am pretty sure I found where Church died that first time. Getting to explore such a historical site ourselves was a very cool and exciting experience. It was almost like we were walking through history itself. Next time we will explore more of Blood gulch and see what the other maps hold as well.

Blood Gulch. Amazing place to explore. Lots of things to do and see. 5 stars.

Also, after we went through some of the campaign, we ended on high charity. But, before we stopped playing we decided to fool around a bit and my sibling got on top of the crashed pelican and I went inside it. Turns out, you can sort of get in the cockpit, but it glitches and you can actually see out the sides of the cockpit as if there were no walls there. Nothing can get to you through the walls, and you can't get to anything either. But, you can see through it and there is something extremely disconcerting about a bunch of flood just standing there, staring in your direction. What's even more terrifying though is trying to sharp-shoot a hunter as it comes barreling towards you and it just...not stopping. It was the level The Gravemind and we were working our way through high charity chasing truth. In one of those long hallway things, I was zoomed in using a carbine and the hunter I was shooting at was running down the slope at me as I was shooting it and it was terrifying to watch. I was emptying my gun into it and it did not fricking stop. I had to zoom out and back up before it got to me. I don't remember how we finally killed it, but I think there were grenades involved. Were playing on heroic by the way. I cannot imagine playing on legendary. We already die so much just on heroic. I wonder if this is how the covenant feel when fighting chief.

[whispering-coffee]

I’ve been holding this off for a while mainly cause I was afraid of doing it but I finally pulled through and now I have a story to share with ya’ll explaining what happened during my hold at the mall!

I went dressed in black leggings and a sweater, bummer that it wouldn’t show I know but i was nervous! I had drank some before leaving my house so by the time I had arrived at the mall i was already feeling the need.

To make sure I was going to suffer (I know i know im a masochist bite me) i drank an entire water bottle i brought with me in the car before actually heading into the mall. So yada yada time passes and im trying to figure out what to do at the mall and I go get myself a drink at the food court then i head off to look around the stores.

About an hour in the mall and its starting to feel pretty urgent but not bursting so i decided hey, why not play a game with myself, and got into a bathroom line. However once i actually went into a stall i just sat there fully clothed not doing anything, still holding it in then shortly after left. Trust me i was getting pretty bored here to have to do that.

I got another drink and finally after finishing it I was getting antsy, crossing my legs and shuffling my feet while i sat at a table.

HEY IF YOU’RE SKIPPING THROUGH THE POST TO FIND THE INTERESTING PARTS ITS OVER HERE

So i go back to looking around stores, feeling my bladder ache each time i take a step and now im actually like, nervous because like its dawning on me that Im really doing this in a public place. Let me say its pretty crowded, its not like the mall barely has anyone in it. So here i am standing around in the corner of a store thinking to myself if I really wanna do it, i was thinking for like a good 5-10 minutes walking back and fourth till i decided i was gonna pull through, after all i made a promise that i would post something interesting and different ;p

I leave the store and about another hour passed and im pretty desperate, like constantly moving around wanna put my hands between my legs desperate. But since it was a public place i couldnt really just do that unless i had to go REALLY bad (foreshadowing haha).

Did i mention it was really cold in the mall, only made everything worse xD

Anyways so Im pretty desperate, i take a seat at the food court again and get ONE MORE drink, and as im sipping on it im squirming in my seat cross legged, im sure anyone who’s into omo would immediately catch on if they saw me.

Just a little bit later im scrolling through my phone with my other hand on top of my lap (not between my legs just yet)

Now Im REALLY anxious because its getting to the point where I know im going to have an accident soon so i get up and just start walking around with my chest aching from nervousness. I even stared at the bathroom in contemplation before walking away.

A couple minutes of aimless walking and i end up having to sneeze.. needless to say a little bit escaped but i stopped it albeit i looked a little silly. My heart dropped during it too.

About ten or twenty so minutes and i have to go REAAALLY bad and im super anxious, i even entered a bathroom line thinking i didnt want to actually wet myself but after a couple minutes of waiting in line i felt another leak which automatically prompted a hand to crotch response, you can imagine my embarrassment.

After the leak I was honestly horrified but also having a LOT of fun, i was close to having an accident so I decided to try to find a secluded area in the mall to hang around in for when i lose control. Each step i took was agony to take but i kept movin, slightly bent over too.

Eventually i found an area where not alot of people were, there were still some but it wasnt as crowded as the other areas. It was like this dead end section with nothing of interest other than a few benches and stores.

I stayed here for about a couple minutes, mild panicking, hella anxious, and kiiiind of excited. Thats when i started losing control. I was kind of in a little corner where a protrusion of wall was blocking me but if you’d still be able to see me if you walked closer to the dead end.

It was a mix of terrified excitement when i tried to stop the flow but couldnt. The sounds of my pee hitting the floor wasnt helping. I dont think anyone actually noticed plus since I was wearing black leggings it wasnt super noticeable. I promptly rushed my way out of the mall keeping my head down leaving behind that puddle.

When i got back to my car i put out the towel i had stored in my trunk over my driver seat so i wouldnt ruin my car seats and kind of just sat in the car thinking about what happened. At the end i actually found the experience really enjoyable and might do it again ;)

[akkivee]

When you get the chance:

Top 5 Sonic songs? 💙🦔

foul work asking a sonic fan to rank music LOL so imma go all out and list top 5 albums, vocal themes, and stage songs so i can list as many as possible, but in no particular order lmao

theme tracks

live and learn (well yeah lol) (there’s the original sonic symphony on youtube still and i watched the livestream when it premiered and was vibing enjoying myself, like sonic music orchestrated this is peak but then we got to this song and i was fcking sobbing lmao)

knight of the wind (i like rock to orchestra instruments and this song made me realise that lol. banger theme to a banger game btw lol like i think every sonic fan once they join the online community has a game they’re shocked to hear the general consensus is that it sucked and this was mine lol. i’m glad everyone has come around to it lol)

my sweet passion (IM AN AMY STAN also!!!! her song is the vocal theme you actually have to sit down with to understand and that in itself shows how much depth her character has and i’m not joking when i say she’s the blueprint to all my favourite characters lol)

his world (i like different versions for different reasons but i listen to the og version the most. it really gets the epic vibe sonic 06 was going for and merges sonic’s rap/hiphop influences he was lowkey founded on and the rock music he was known for at the time. i digress but the music direction has shifted to edm so i’d be very curious if a sonic theme in the current era would also have edm 🤔)

i’m here (and like i already loved the og version but then they got kellin quinn to revamp the theme of the dlc that saved sonic frontiers’ ending and it’s just peak all around lmao)

albums

sonic adventure (my go to album when i’m drawing actually lol. i wasn’t around for the og dreamcast drop so idk what marketing was like but since it’s the game that defined sonic’s transition into 3d (sorry if that phrasing activated a fight response lol) i like to think the snazzy jazzy sound the entire album has, which carries forward sonic’s 90s vibes he’s had in 2d as well, is like sonic team saying ‘welcome to sonic’s snazzy jazzy world like you’ve never seen before!!!’ and it’s nice lol)

sonic adventure 2 (i……… am an adventure era girlie lmao but like do you know how formative this soundtrack is for me lol???? sa2 took what sa1 had going for it and ramped it tf 🆙 like defined music genres for their characters and it reflects the music of stages they’re in too!!! i love the vocal stage songs!!!!! supporting me is THE boss fight song of all time!!!! rouge with the sexy spy music bc that’s her schtick!!!! knuckles was an og with character raps showing his thoughts and feelings lmao!!!!)

sonic frontiers (i’m pretty sure the final horizon soundtrack is the reason why sega was my most listened to artist and was my most listened to album last year lol. i made a playlist of those songs and inserted the vocal themes of the og game where the boss rush started iykyk lol. i don’t listen to the og soundtrack much but it’s incredible that each island has a theme they created 6-7 distinct versions of in the form of movements like what a masterpiece of an album)

sonic generations (THE REMIXES SLAP LOL)

sonic forces (idk it’s also an album i put on when i’m drawing. a lot of the songs are repetitive but it’s an easy listen and the vocal tracks are cool lol and fun fact if you search up ‘the edgiest song ever’ on youtube you get a song from this album and they’re right, it is edgy but you don’t understand if you’re messing with me i am a dangerous weapon i am the sharpest of blades i'll cut you down in a second ‘cause i was born in this pain it only hurts if you let it—)

stage songs

aquarium park act 1 (i never played colors actually i just watched a friend of a friend play it but this stage’s song stuck to soul lol)

meteor herd (SPACE HIPHOP??? LIKE ARE YOU FORREAL?????)

night palace (this song is too good for that game lmao)

eggman’s facility (i listen to this remix so much the vanilla version of white jungle actually sounds weird whenever i listen to it lmao)

mystic mansion (this song and its in game mechanic is too good for that fcking stage lmao)

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Your top five (5) favourite moments in games you've seen/played/read? (Either moments in TTRPGs, video games, or just really good design decisions in either that you enjoyed. Deliberately open-ended so you can pick :3)

Ooooo I'm excited to dig into this one.

1. This one is gonna be a little cliché but... The whole conversation with The Master in Fallout 1. Fallout 1 was probably THE game that first got me to really start consciously thinking of the potential of videogames as an artform, and to this day I still consider it (along with some of its sister games like Fallout 2, Planescape: Torment, etc.) to be one of the best-written CRPGs of all time, and the fact that if you've put in the work you can beat the final boss entirely by talking to him (which has been like, standard fare for CRPGs now and it kinda already was by the time I first played the game, but was a first for me anyway) blew my tiny mind at the time.

2. Another Fallout 1 one (can you tell this game was extremely formative for me?), which is a little bit more personal but also will kinda require me to spoil a HUGE chunk of the main quest, so... Yeah.

The initial inciting incident that drives the first half of Fallout 1 is as follows: The main control chip for your Vault's water purification system is broken. You've been sent to find a replacement, and there's a hard time limit to do so before the Vault's clean water reserves run out and everyone dies of dehydration.

It isn't even really a questline as much as it is a big mystery (i.e. it isn't like in New Vegas where your initial objective is to find Benny and there's a pretty explicit breadcrumb trail of quests to lead you to him, Fallout 1 gives you gives you a couple initial nudges in the right direction but other than that there isn't an explicit series of quests that will lead you to the chip, you're kinda just thrust into the world and left to your own devices to ask questions and investigate)

Eventually you find out there is a vault under the Necropolis with a functioning water purification system, but there is a big problem. The Ghouls that live in the Necropolis used to get their water from a water pump, but the pump has been broken for a while, and they've been using the vault under the city as their new source of water, so they need the chip too.

In my first playthrough I found out about the Necropolis water chip with just a few days left to recover the chip, and the way I ended up dealing with this problem was the first time a game made me feel like a scumbag lol. At first I tried to resolve the situation ethically. I met with the leader of the Ghouls, we talked about it, and he agreed to let me take the chip if I helped repair the town's water pump.

I made my way to the pump (the town was already occupied by supermutants at this point, so it wasn't easy) and then I just. Wasn't able to fix it.

And I was scared that if I took the time to find a way to do it, I was gonna run out of time to actually take the chip back to the vault.

So I ended up deciding to steal the chip, telling myself that I was just gonna take the chip, take it to my vault, and then once the time limit wasn't a concern anymore, I'd come back and help them with the water pump.

But then I just kinda felt ashamed and I kept avoiding coming back because I was afraid that everyone in town was gonna be hostile or treat me as a thief or something.

And by the time I actually brought myself to go back, I found everyone dead.

Tbqh I don't know if all the Ghouls dying is something that only happens if you steal the chip, or it was a scripted event that always happens due to the supermutant occupation (in the second half of the game supermutants start slowly wiping out settlements). All I know that when I entered the town and found every ghoul I encountered out on the street dead I just. Left without exploring any further and never came back in that playthrough.

It's a moment that still sticks in my mind over a decade later.

3. A TTRPG one: I've talked A LOT on this blog about how Mausritter is my favorite TTRPG ever. It was my second non-D&D TTRPG ever, it was the game that definitely convinced me to switch over to the indie scene, and there's A LOT of things I love about it, but out of all those things I want to focus on a single line that fundamentally changed my brain chemistry as someone who was still learning about TTRPGs: "Dice are dangerous, clever plans don't need to roll". As someone who by that point was still stuck in the D&D-induced mentality that almost every action needs a dice roll, that single line completely changed the way I approach that particular genre of dungeon-crawling TTRPG both as a player (each dice roll you need to make represents a potential point of failure, minimize the number of dice rolls you need to make by using the tools at your disposal in clever and creative ways to stack the odds in your favor and avoid/bypass/simplify risky situations with uncertain outcomes) and as a GM (asking for dice rolls is best reserved for situations where the players are just trying to brute force their way through a problem in a way that has a significant chance of failure and fully exposes them to the potential risks of said failure. If they're using creative thinking and stacking the situation in their favor to avoid the potential risks of their actions or reduce the chance of failure, you should just let them automatically succeed without rolling anything)

4. Another TTRPG one, this time from Troika!, My FIRST ever non-D&D TTRPG. The reason why I tend to not be that much into RPGs which include dozens of pages of worldbuilding about their setting, no matter how cool or interesting, is because Troika! (and later Mausritter) made me fall in love with the kind of RPG that effectively manages to do all the worldbuilding it needs to do through stuff like random tables, class descriptions, items, etc, and my favorite example of this in Troika! is the Derivative Dwarf character background (although honorable mentions go to several others, like the Wizard Hunter, Yongardy Lawyer, and Monkeymonger)

Like, in this one character background description, Troika! manages to paint a more unique, interesting and compelling picture of what its version of Dwarf society and culture are like than many fantasy RPGs do in several pages.

5. Back to vidya games, one of my favorite videogames of all time was this one time I was playing Dwarf Fortress in Adventurer Mode. I was fighting a Cyclops, and I managed to cut off his arm, only to see the cyclops (who up until that point had been unarmed) pick up his own severed arm and start bludgeoning me to death with it. It was the moment that really made me realize the true scope of that game's potential for emergent gameplay. Because it's like. The cyclops being able to do that wasn't an explicitly scripted interaction, it's not like Toady decided to intentionally code in the ability for characters to use their own severed body parts as weapons, it was just a natural result of characters being able to pick up miscellaneous objects to use as weapons and a severed arm technically counting as a miscellaneous object, and I think that makes the resulting interaction a thousand times cooler than if it was something someone intentionally coded in.

[miasanmuller]

So @acrazybayernfan came up with this absolutely incredible tag game and I'm 100% here for it so let's go:

What is your top 10 most memorable Bayern’s matches?

In no particular order:

Well needless to say: 8-2. I mean... it's just too iconic to not mention lol.

I also can't not mention Robert Lewandowski loses his motherfucking mind scores 5 times in 9 minutes against Wolfsburg in 2015. I mean, it's historic.

2015 UCL, the second leg against Porto during quarter-finals. That was the time I learned the valuable lesson of never giving up and to keep believing in the team and in this club. That game was insane and we ended up winning 6-1 and securing our place in Semi-finals when we died a horrible horrible death but anyway. I remember watching that game and feeling so much pride and joy of being a Bayern fan, I get emotional just to remember it lol

Now this one is really special to me for an unusual reason, I guess: home game against Bremen during the 2014-15 Bundesliga. We won 6-0, it was the second highest score we got that season I think (if I remember correctly we went on to win against H*mburg 8-0, or was it before? whatever). I remember this game bc Fips scored a brace and it was just LEGENDARY bc you wouldn't expect him to score let alone score twice in a single match. I remember screaming like crazy when he scored the first and then just dying when he did it again lmao it was fun

Another one from the 2014-15 season (this was my first season around so I remember a lot of stuff): away game against Mainz, we won 2-1. I'm not exactly sure if it was Basti's first game since he came back from injury (after the WC) or if it was one of the first games... in any case, he scored an insane goal (which to this day is one of my favorite Bayern goals ever) and I screamed like crazy and I was watching it back in my parent's house and my dad walked in while I was screaming lmao

2015-16 UCL, 2nd leg against Juve in Round of 16. We desperately needed to win and we begun losing and no one really expected us to make it through. I remember this one bc I actually didn't watch it: I don't remember exactly if I couldn't find a stream or what, but the best I could do was read live updates on a website and pray. It was one of the most stressful experiences of my life and I remember abandoning my phone at one point bc I was sure we wouldn't win. And we did. Lmao.

2019-20 Bundesliga. Away game in Frankfurt, the infamous 5-1. This one was during a time where I drifted away from Bayern due to depression and stuff and I didn't feel as connected to the team as I used to and then I remember seeing the scoreline and just... dying inside. Feeling like something was very, very wrong with the world. I can't remember the match exaclty, but I have never let go of it since then and to this day I loathe Frankfurt for this specific match.

This year's Pokal match against Freiburg in April. That was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life as a Bayern fan. It was our second game with Tuchel and I was already feeling that I would want that man's head on a silver plate (and I still do).

Another one (last one) from the 2014-15 season bc this one is really really special: our friendly against MLS All-Stars before the start of the season. Which we lost. It's special bc it was the first Bayern match I actually watched!!! I remember feeling very happy when I found a channel that was showing it and I was very excited even though the WC guys wouldn't play (I think they ended up being subbed in in the 2nd half? I don't remember exactly). Everybody was talking about Lewandowski and I was all ?????!!!! bc I had no concept of anything. It was an awful match but a very fun experience lmao

And last but not least: our UCL win against PSG in 2020. It wasn't the way we all wanted it to be, but since I was just coming back from my "fan retirement" I remember exploding from joy after that game and throwing myself on the floor and rolling around and idk it was priceless. Making P$G fail and Neymar cry has got to be some of the best things we do every now and then lmao thanks for that Bayern

I know a lot of you have already been tagged (I didn't check if any of you already did it lmao) but I'll tag anyway bc I'm just like that. I tag @thomas-mvller @thomats @probayern @miss-i-ship-it @fabioquartararhoe @smolnerdz @smilesleepandspeak and @leongolretzka (but please don't feel pressured to do it ^^)

[rukbat3]

Babylon 5 Rewatch - Chrysalis

This is a post I originally wrote several years ago for Mark Oshiro’s Mark Watches blog. I don’t really plan to edit them before posting, so there may be some references that don’t make sense. If you see words that look like gibberish, they are actually rot13, which was our way of discussing spoilers. There are plugins you can install to decode the text (Cryptext is the one I use), or you can copy/paste to rot13.com, or just ignore it.

“Nothing’s the same anymore.”

Truer words have rarely been spoken. Naq Fvapynve qbrfa'g rira xabj gur unys bs vg! This is one of my favorite season finales ever, along with The West Wing season 1 and Veronica Mars season 1. (Hmm, I’m sensing a theme.) However, the first time I watched the show, I didn’t even get to see it! This was one of the episodes we managed to fail to record! Whoops! (We also missed the next one.) As you may imagine, I was quite confused when I picked back up with episode 202! Still, when I finally managed to see this episode, I loved it, even though I sort of already knew what happened in it. But this also means that this is one of my most anticipated Mark episodes, so I can finally see what it’s like to watch the episode unspoiled!

Even though I think this episode is pretty much perfect, it does contain a couple of annoying tropes which are there solely to move the plot in the direction JMS wanted it to go. The first is at the very beginning of the episode, when Garibaldi’s informant plays the pronoun game with his dying words, “They’re going to kill him.” Thanks for nothing, dying informant guy! Maybe try to be more specific when you know you may have limited time to convey your crucial information? (This does lead to a nice, subtle moment a few scenes later when Sinclair asks Garibaldi who “they’re” going to kill, and Garibaldi responds, “That’s what I’m gonna find out,” and then the scene cuts to a news report showing the image of Earthforce One, but it’s still an annoying bit of contrivance.)

The other is, of course, later in the episode after Garibaldi has indeed found out who they’re going to kill, and instead of telling Sinclair immediately, he makes the baffling choice that this is news he has to share in person. On top of the fact that Garibaldi should know better than to tempt fate like this—even if he thinks no one knows what he has discovered, anything could happen to him on route and the intelligence would be lost again—I don’t understand what he thinks the danger is in sharing the news over the link. Even if they are overheard, where is the downside in more people being informed faster? So yeah, this makes me sigh a bit.

However, those minor quibbles fade when we get to the scene which is the real meat of this subplot—after Garibaldi has been shot and has managed to gasp out to Sinclair the words which Petrov should have said from the beginning: “They’re going to kill the President,” Sinclair desperately tries to get the message to someone—anyone—who can prevent the oncoming tragedy. Even though I have seen this episode numerous times, and knew what the outcome would be even the first time I saw it, this scene in C&C has me on the edge of my seat and breathing hard every single time! And when we actually see Earthforce One exploding, I cry. Every time. I view this shot as being one of the most iconic images of the whole series.

But the episode doesn’t end there, and we move into something perhaps even more depressing, in a subtler way, than the assassination itself. We learn that Sinclair’s report, when he is finally able to make it, isn’t believed. The explosion is being written off as an accident, and Sinclair is essentially told not to make waves. We don’t know yet whether this is a deliberate cover-up or just willful ignorance on the part of the Senator giving Sinclair his orders, but either way, it seems that nothing will be done to search for the perpetrators any further. And Garibaldi’s aide has managed to cut off any leads Sinclair might be able to follow on B5 itself.

[whole series] Gubfr bs hf jub unir frra gur frevrf orsber pna gryy gung vaqrrq, gur pbire-hc vf nyernql va shyy fjvat. Pynex unf boivbhfyl cynaarq jryy sbe guvf zbzrag naq unf uvf fhccbegref nyernql va cynpr.

[same] Naq gurer'f nabgure terng, fhogyr zbzrag va gur arjf oebnqpnfg ng gur raq, jurer jr urne gung Cerfvqrag Pynex, va uvf vanhtheny nqqerff, fnvq gung gurl arrq gb urny, naq gung ur jbhyq "ortva ol sbphfvat zber ba gur arrqf bs bhe bja crbcyr." Vg'f n yvar gung fbhaqf gbgnyyl vaabphbhf ng svefg tynapr, whfg n cbyvgvpny cyngvghqr, ohg vg raqf hc orpbzvat gur whfgvsvpngvba ng gur urneg bs fb znal bs gur rivy guvatf gung uvf nqzvavfgengvba raqf hc qbvat bire gur arkg frireny lrnef.

One last little thing about this subplot: [season 2] V ernyyl yvxr gung gur yhexre thl jvgu gur zrzbenoyr snpr fubjf hc ntnva, naq gheaf bhg gb or n gryrcngu uvqvat sebz gur Cfv Pbecf. Vg'f yvxr n yvggyr Rnfgre rtt!

Moving on to what Londo and G’Kar are up to in this episode, tensions between the Narn and the Centauri are ramping up, and the moral complexities of the situation are increasingly on display. The Narn, who were once enslaved by the Centauri, should be the sympathetic parties in this conflict, but their imperialistic behavior, and G’Kar’s belligerent gloating, makes it very hard to like them—but that still doesn’t mean they deserve what happens to them at the end of the episode. Whereas you can see Londo being backed into a corner by G’Kar’s bullying and his dissatisfaction with his government’s refusal to act, but still. Even though he doesn’t personally give the order to destroy that Narn outpost, he should know that there are consequences to making a deal with the devil. And there have been too many warning signs for him not to realize that is exactly what he is doing.

After Londo finds out exactly what he has set into motion, nygubhtu rira ur qbrfa'g ernyvmr gur shyy fpbcr bs vg ng guvf cbvag, he is appalled. “You killed 10,000 Narns!” he almost shouts, so that Morden has to shush him. And in that moment, he really is horrified. But Morden’s response, “I didn’t think you cared,” sets him back on his heels. You can see the conflict play out on his face. Of course he cares! This isn’t what he intended at all! But why should he care? They’re Narns, after all, and he hates Narns. Everyone will see this as a great Centauri victory, and that is what Londo wanted all along. He has a moment here where he could go either way, and he is still conflicted as Morden leaves—but he doesn’t condemn Morden’s tactics entirely, and he doesn’t reject the possibility of future help either. V guvax vg vf guvf zbzrag, naq abg gur bar rneyvre jura ur svefg nfxf sbe Zbeqra'f uryc, gung ernyyl qrsvarf Ybaqb'f shgher cngu.

Side note: Londo’s meetings with Mr. Morden take place in the hydroponics garden that runs through the center line of the station. How much do I love this worldbuilding detail? I love it a lot.

Secondary side note: Londo and Vir trying to puzzle out what Earth expression Londo is thinking of: funniest part of the episode, Y/Y?

And then there’s Delenn. What’s going on with her?!? She’s been planning something for a while—we first saw her starting to work on that geometrical structure thing in “Signs and Portents,” and Alisa Beldon in “Legacies” read the word “chrysalis” in her mind. And the other Grey Council member gave her the triluminary in “Babylon Squared,” although it was unclear if he knew why she wanted it. But until now, we had no idea these things all went together, and we certainly didn’t know that the one in the chrysalis would be Delenn! So it seems that she must be changing into something, but what? Does she even know? Lennier seems worried. Should we be? Tune in next week to find out! ;)

Finally, Catherine Sakai is back! I always love seeing her; I really think the actress brings something special to the role. [whole series] Vg'f ernyyl gbb onq gung guvf vf gur ynfg gvzr jr trg gb frr ure, nygubhtu pbafvqrevat gung vs WZF unq orra noyr gb ubyq gb uvf bevtvany cyna, fur jnf nobhg gb trg xvyyrq ba n fheirl zvffvba gb M'un'qhz, vg'f cebonoyl sbe gur orfg, naq V pna whfg nqq vg gb zl yvfg bs Ernfbaf gb Or Tengrshy sbe O5 Cybg Punatrf. Ng yrnfg guvf jnl fur trgf gb yvir ba va gur obbxf! (Naq fcrnxvat bs gur obbxf, jr ernyyl arrq gb trg Znex gb ernq Gb Qernz va gur Pvgl bs Fbeebjf bapr ur'f ernpurq n cbvag jura vg'f abg fcbvyrel.)

Favorite scene: Sinclair delivering the Most Romantic Proposal ever. :-P LOL, he’s so awkward, I love it. And you can see the exact moment Catherine catches on and then waits for him to finish stumbling through his speech with the most adorable smirk on her face! We haven’t seen much of the two of them together, but I love them so much. <3

[athenasparrow]

20 Qs for Fic Writers

Thank you all for tagging me! @wearingaberetinparis @annabtg @kay-elle-cee

How many works do you have on AO3? 27! That's counting my submission for @jilytoberfest masquerade

What's your total A03 word count? Currently at 181,851 words

What fandoms do you write for? Only HP!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? LAYLOM: The first time Lily kisses James, he doesn’t even know. DWOHT: But despite his best efforts, he couldn’t take his eyes off her figure as she moved effortlessly in rhythm with whatever song she had playing. He learned she was wearing more than a t-shirt when she slid across the kitchen on her socks, throwing her head back to sing words James wished he could hear. The Art of Identification: Lily Evans, star potions pupil, can't identify Amortentia when it's staring her right in the face (or nose). Stripped Back To Basics: In which Petunia probably regrets telling Lily to "put herself out there." The Right Door: Sirius and Remus try to set up Lily and James, but turns out they've already met.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! I love to respond!! I am QUITE behind right now (there are 40 messages in my AO3 inbox LOL), but I'll catch up!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I was just going to leave "no comment" here, but I thought I'd say... I know exactly what fic it is, but I've yet to put it up! It's been written for a while and people have encouraged me to publish it, but it's still just sitting in my WIP folder. Maybe soon!! I'll be vague so it still packs a punch when it arrives : )

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of my fics tend to have happy endings! I like to tie everything up in a little bow and only recently have I been learning some open-ended restraint. My personal favourite is DWOHT when Euphemia finally gets her (first) grandkid. I found it very amusing since she'd been hounding them for so long!

Do you get hate on fics? Not on a regular basis! I've had some gentle and invited criticism when I played @annabtg brave game. Then there was a rude anon, but I couldn't really take them seriously because they were just spouting nonsense so I spent most of the time giggling at their little brain LOL!

Do you write smut. If so, what kind? YES!!!! I am THE SMUT FAIRY!! Most of my fics have smut and I've written a few plotless porn fics as well. As for what kind...mostly vanilla and tame SO FAR! I should really write something more kinky.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Nope! I'm not interested in crossovers. Unlikely I will ever write one! I certainly like to base Lily and James in situations from other universes, but don't want Lily and James to interact with the characters.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of : )

Have you ever had a fic translated? I have not! There's one regular commenter who leaves all her thoughts in Spanish and I adore that because I get to practice, but that's about as close as I've come LOL!

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? Yes! It's both an enjoyable and exhausting process for me (mostly enjoyable because I keep coming back for more LOL)! My first was with @charmsandtealeaves (Stripped Back To Basics). I'm currently writing with @wearingaberetinparis 👀 Her brain works at an insane pace, but as I am a mere mortal you'll have to wait until my semester finishes before there's any chance of us publishing! 😂

What's your all-time favourite ship? JILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are actually THE BEST!!!

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? ALL OF THEM???? Look guys, I have like 25-30 WIPs and the list just keeps getting longer LOL! I'm hoping my gap year will help : )

What are your writing strengths? I think I come up with beautiful metaphors, my dialogue is interesting and my smut is hot! Recently added angst to my list, but it's still growing : )

What are your writing weaknesses? Proofreading LOL! Drawing things out! Putting my characters through too much pain! I'm going to be so much better at it after my collab with @wearingaberetinparis because she's an actual angst genius!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Meh...I suppose if it makes sense, but I'd probably only bother with a language I know, otherwise, it would be quite tedious and out of place.

First fandom you wrote for? HP all the way! I haven't written or joined any other servers for other series/movies.

Favourite fic you have ever written? It's still DWOHT! LAYLOM and The Art of Identification are both up there though!

Tagging @abihastastybeans @call-me-the-cassie @jamesunderwater @ohmygodshesinsane @missgryffin

[yumeka-sxf]

Off to Anime Expo 2023!

My ITA backpack is ready!

And in case my favorite anime wasn't obvious enough already, I also put some pins on my badge lanyard!

So yeah, later today I'll be heading to Anime Expo (also known as AX), which is arguably the biggest anime convention in North America. Since I live near Los Angeles, I've been to the expo many times...this will be my thirteenth year attending! I've even saved all of my AX badges over the years ;)

(if you're wondering why I had to blur out parts of the badges, it's because they used to be personalized with every attendee's full name and city/state. They stopped doing that in 2015).

Even though I've been to AX many times, this will be my first convention since the pandemic, so I'm especially looking forward to it.

These are the events I'm planning to attend (emphasis on SxF related events of course):

Day 1, July 1st

-Spy x Family Panel featuring Takuya Eguchi

Start: 5:00PM End: 5:50PM

Day 2, July 2nd

-Production I.G x WIT

Start: 12:00PM End: 12:50PM

Day 3, July 3rd

-Bushiroad Panel

Start: 11:30AM End: 12:20PM

-Crunchyroll Industry Panel

Start: 3:30PM End: 4:50PM

Any time I have in between panels will be spent in the Exhibit Hall, where 100+ vendors will be selling all manner of anime goods, or Artist Alley, where 100+ artists will be selling their works. And when those places close in the evenings, I'll probably hang out in the Tabletop Gaming room playing Weiss Schwarz and Osica.

Obviously the SxF panel on Day 1 is my top priority. That would still be the case even if Eguchi wasn't part of it, but the fact that he will be there makes me even more excited! But anyone who's been to big fan conventions knows how crazy crowds can be, and unless an event has reservation tickets or something (which this one doesn't) it's all first come first serve. I know I'll have to get there at least a few hours early to ensure I can get a seat. This year AX will not be clearing rooms before or after most events, so that could help. Fingers crossed I can get in! The other events I want to attend will be crowded too, but not as bad as this one. I'm hopeful we'll get a sneak peek of SxF season 2...we've already gotten a movie trailer, and the movie comes out months after season 2, so maybe they're saving the season 2 teaser for AX!

Unfortunately I've been dealing with a health issue for the past month that has yet to be resolved. After weeks of pain in my gut and battling ongoing fatigue, I finally got a CT scan today and found out I have inflammation in my colon. I just started taking antibiotics that will hopefully get rid of it, but if not I'll have to get a colonscopy for further inspection. I wish I felt better so I could enjoy myself more, but I know I'll feel at least a little better once the adrenaline and excitement kicks in. Just keeping my fingers crossed that I don't get worse during the trip...I've been looking forward to this all year and would be devastated if it was ruined!

Anyway, I definitely plan to blog about my time at AX. Unfortunately most of the big events, especially ones with exclusive content, don't usually allow photos or video. But I'll do the best I can even if I can only recount my experiences in text! I'll try to make posts while I'm actually at the expo, but depending on how things go, I might not be able to do the bulk of my posting until after I return. However, I do plan to make more sporadic, real-time posts on my Twitter, so follow me there if you're interested!

[g1ddings]

now i’ve finally finished tdim i think i have my preference order 🤓☝️

1. until dawn she is never leaving top spot it’s been like less than a decade and i can’t see that changing. the characters, the atmosphere, the drama of best friends to enemies on a group wide scale… i think me and my best friend played it like 12 times this year and i only dug it back out my wardrobe in august she’s just my fave

2. lh ok when i played this i got it for £4 and i knew nothing except that witches may be there and it ended up being so perfect i will never gaf what people say because the plot twist was perfect because only ud and lh have had twists that shocked me (maybe helped that i played it before mom but even then idc if they reused a plot device bc it was well executed). its also really good with jump scares, first time i played i was resetting my heart every time we went back in time .. as someone who plays these games partly for plot this was just perfect for me and im enjoying the lh brain rot im experiencing on a daily basis

3. hoa which surprised me it was the one i wanted to play the least bc any war setting is just going to make me side eye but it was actually really enjoyable and i was prepared to play it just to complete the set but ended up with salim as one of my top 5 characters of the entire franchise. only wish clarice made it but that is my lesbian bias talking. also the score used was really clever especially when you’re nick in the caves for the first time

4. tdim but possible that by the time i platinum it it may jump to 3rd place. first of all anything with a lesbian couple in it will automatically be a winner in my books, but this game actually is tense like in my first play through towards the end of the 2nd act i was just speeding through bc i was freaking out bc everything was making me jump. i still have sm endings to try out but so far i see why it’s loved

5. the quarry honestly surprised it left my 3rd place but towards the end of me platinuming it i was already losing love for it. i think my fave parts are more of the fanon side rather than what was played, i also think the choices lacked something like once they were infected you didn’t really have to worry.. i think i need to do a replay so i can remember the good parts because there are plenty!!

6. mom but i actually liked it way more than i thought i would so it’s more like a regrettable 6th place. i remember watching playthroughs when it first came out and found it a little boring but definitely once playing for myself this year i can see that it’s actually really good and a fun play. unfortunately on my first try i killed conrad and fliss early on so i missed out on some great scenes which made that playthrough not so good. (minus points that i need to do co-op to platinum this). now i’ve played i don’t get the hate i think it just drew the short straw being the first out after until dawn ❤️‍🩹

i’ve actually had sm fun playing these games the last few months i’m begging for some directive 8020 news

[jasmariswonderland]

How My Twst OCs Fared During Book 6

Hello everyone!

So I’ve been sitting on this post for a while and was planning to share it right before Book 7 drops in EN. That is until a friend of mine who only plays JP pointed out that EN will likely not get Book 7 until AFTER the Glorious Masquerade event. 

With that in mind, here are some headcanons for how my ocs fared during the events of book 6. I’m only sharing headcannons for Crisanta, Iman, Danica, Sidonie and Vidaria since book 6 effected them the most. Note, some of these are LONG. 

Crisanta was feeling sick on the day STYX infiltrated the school. Because of that, she decided not to attend that morning's board game club meeting and Ione decided to come in late so she could stay with her and make sure she was alright. When Ione returned to Heartslabyul a while later, she told Crisanta about what had happened and Crisanta decided it would be best for neither of them to leave their dorm until the chaos winded down and someone could locate the dorm leaders that were taken by the charrons. 

“There are more important things to consider now. Please don’t worry about me.” 

Though she wasn’t fully recovered, Crisanta takes it upon herself to help Cater and Trey maintain order at Heartslabyul as the latter became acting dorm leader during the crisis. She also helped to keep Ione calm as she worried what had happened to Riddle. They both were greatly relieved when he returned to NRC safely. And Crisanta was able to use some of her restoration magic to help return Riddle’s white hair to its original red color.

Iman was spending the morning with Vidaria and Heloise at Diasomnia when they received word about STYX infiltrating the school. She immediately went back to Scarabia where Kalim informed her about what happened, much to her horror. As Kalim went off to meet with the other teachers and dorm leaders, Iman helped maintain order in her dorm and when Kalim returned, acted as an unofficial vice dorm leader. 

Had this crisis occurred earlier in the school year, Iman might not have taken this as seriously. But her experiences in books 4 and 5 have had a big hand in helping her wise up to the rest of the world outside her tiny circle. She was extremely worried for Jamil’s wellbeing but managed to keep her feelings in check so she could support Kalim as best as she could. Especially in the moments where Kalim really needed someone to confide in. Jamil’s absence hit him particularly hard, not just because he had no idea what had happened to him, but also because Kalim was beginning to realize just how much he depended on Jamil. The self introspection that began in book 5 continues on as Kalim is given more time to consider just how much Jamil has been forced to sacrifice for his sake. And his fear that Jamil’s disdain for him might very well be justified.

“I tried so hard to be mad. But the truth was, I was confused.” 

Iman is also dealing with her own introspection as she finally has some time to really think about the events that led to Jamil’s overblot. The pressure and stress of VDC prep forced her to place most of these thoughts in the back of her head but now they have time to really develop. And for the first time in her life, she’s beginning to question the point of her and Kalim’s status. What is the point of the archaic hierarchy they live in if one of the effects is that it keeps people like Jamil down at the bottom even if she is on top. She doesn’t really talk to Kalim about these things but she tries to assure him that everything will go back to normal soon enough despite not being so sure herself. Or even if she wants things to go back to normal anyway. 

Danica, Sidonie and Vidaria under the cut!

Danica was supposed to be present at the Ramshackle meeting but ended up not being there for…reasons. Yet despite her absence, it didn’t take her long to realize what happened at the meeting and when she found out that Vil was taken, she actually fainted. She was already somewhat aware of STYX due to the things Taima had told her about what Athena’s parents do for a living. Because of this knowledge, Danica decides to accompany Rook, Epel and Yuulan on their journey to the Isle of Woe. 

Her reasoning being half concern for Epel and Yuulan (whom she doesn’t trust Rook to protect) and half a genuine fear she may never see Vil again. However she is anything but happy about this and is especially unhappy about having to be around Rook. She’s still upset about his lovebombing and refuses to speak to him, forcing Yuulan to become an intermediary between them. Things are made even worse/more awkward when Rook takes them to one of his family’s houses to use a transporter. They end up spending the night and the visit brings up some very bittersweet pre-book 5 memories for her. Rook does try to reconcile with Danica but she isn’t having any of it. 

But it isn’t all bad as Yuulan is currently working through her own share of heartbreak regarding Malleus so she and Danica are able to bond some and become better friends. And when Rook is later critically injured by an attacking charron, she breaks that vow to herself and immediately expresses concern for his safety. The truth is, a part of Danica still does care about Rook and she cannot forget some of the genuinely kind things he’s done for her in the past even if she’s now questioning the motives behind it all. But even so, he still has a place in her heart even if she acknowledges that his fickle nature will only cause her pain if she loves him. With Yuulan’s further intervention, they are able to get on civil terms by the time they return to NRC and within a few weeks after that, they appear to be somewhat friends again. 

But Danica’s reunion with Vil is an extremely emotional one and from the start there are signs that their relationship will take a much more positive turn once this is all over. He is extremely protective of her as they are fighting off the phantoms and titans and even puts himself between her and the monsters more than a few times. As a mage, Danica can be described as a glass cannon whereas her skills are very strong but her body and reserves are extremely fragile. At one point Danica is nearly knocked out cold and Vil forbids her from using any further magic until it’s time to deal with the Shroud brothers. 

Danica assists in defeating the Shroud overblots and while she conceals the fact very well, she is horrified by Vil’s drastic change of appearance when he dives into the underworld. But she’s able to quickly set aside her horror when she sees how much Vil is suffering. On the journey back to NRC, Danica is Vil’s greatest (and only) source of comfort, singing for him and reminding him of his heroism. At one point she admits that she loves him, but only after he briefly drifts off to sleep. 

“Heroes often have to sacrifice something important, but they’re often rewarded too. And I can’t think of a better reward for your bravery, Vil-san.”

From the start of the school year, Danica was always fearful of Malleus and like most students, kept her distance from him. But after seeing how he fixed the VDC stage and now restoring Vil’s beauty, her fear of him has slowly eased into reverence and amiability. Something that will prove useful in the future. But in the meantime, with Vil seeing the extent of Danica’s courage and kindness and Danica seeing the extent of Vil’s nobility, they are now closer than ever. 

Sidonie has always questioned her place in Pomefiore and even in her sophomore year, still had moments of not feeling like she really belonged. After book 5, those feelings were stronger than ever for her due to VDC drama and it’s aftermath. Among other things, she took serious issue with how Vil and Rook mistreated Danica and on the morning of the crisis, tries to cheer her protégée up by taking her to Heartslabyul to collect roses. It was there that they found out about the charrons and immediately returned to their dorm. A while later, Rook made his decision to go to the Isle of Woe and to her shock, placed Sidonie in temporary charge of Pomefiore.  

Now, it would be a lie to say that Sidonie hasn’t been secretly wishing for an opportunity like this, but never did she imagine that this would be the circumstances. Added with the fact that Danica and Epel decide to follow Rook to the Isle of Woe, Sidonie finds herself extremely distressed and also finds that she can’t really enjoy being dorm leader like she’d like to. Without their dorm leaders and with rumors swirling regarding why Vil was taken in the first place, Sidonie’s major task is maintaining order in Pomefiore. But even that is difficult since further info from NRC faculty is limited and the campus is under strict curfew. During this time, Farron acts as Sidonie’s unnamed vice dorm leader but her largest source of support/advice actually comes from someone not even in their dorm.

From the start of her freshman year, Sidonie has had something of a secret friendship with Heartslabyul junior Sinclair Halophor. He’s in the same club as her but Trey has always made it clear that he’s wary of the two getting to close to each other. But while Trey is kept busy maintaining order at Heartslabyul, Sidonie and Sinclair have time to become better acquainted with the latter offering useful advice on being an affective leader. As Heartslabyul’s former dorm leader, he has a lot of insight that he shares with her. With Sinclair’s help, Sidonie is able to help her dorm mates get through the crisis and through it, is reminded of why the Dark Mirror selected her for Pomefiore in the first place. 

“I think I finally understand. The place where I belong, I was always there.” 

Even when times were difficult, Sidonie’s passion has always been her strongest trait. Her passion, resourcefulness and desire to be helpful to her dorm mates. While some aspects of Pomefiore may come off as shallow to her, Sidonie has always strived to be an example of all the best aspects about her dorm. And when the crisis passes and her friends return to NRC, Vil see’s this too. At first he’s enraged to see Sidonie sitting on his throne and wearing the crown and longer robes of a dorm leader, until Rook explains to him that it was his idea that Sidonie be in charge of Pomefiore while he went to the Isle of Woe. Farron and the other Pomefiore students attest to Sidonie’s leadership skills and because Vil was very worried about what would happen to Pomefiore without leadership, once he calms down, he’s actually very pleased with her. So much so that he decides to reward her in the best way possible.

For the most part, Vidaria remained a spectator of the events of Book 6 from the safe distance of the Diasomnia dorm. She didn’t attend that morning's equestrian club meeting due to feeling depressed and Iman opted to keep her company as well as Heloise. The reason for her depression I’ll get to in a moment. 

She finds out about the charrons when Silver and Sebek come and tell Malleus and Lilia. But because no one from Diasomnia was taken, this doesn’t really affect them. Iman rushes back to Scarabia and Lilia instructs Vidaria to remain at Diasomnia until more information is available. Soon enough school resumes though on a very limited basis. And even when classes are in session, there is a heavy air of uneasiness surrounding the classmates and faculty. But this uneasiness is nothing compared to what Vidaria was already feeling. 

Although Vidaria has no deep feelings for Malleus, she has come to accept their impending marriage and has developed a baseline like and respect for him. So it’s more than a little shocking when in Book 5, she realized that Malleus has been sneaking off to Ramshackle dorm in the evenings and has developed a friendship with Yuulan. This realization is made more awkward when after the VDC, Vidaria accidentally eavesdrops on a conversation between Yuulan and Malleus. Where they discuss the latter’s betrothal and it’s heavily implied that Yuulan has developed deeper feelings for Malleus and vice versa, though Malleus never really considered the idea that he could actually be in love with the person he marries. 

Vidaria is not exactly jealous of Yuulan per say, but she is very resentful of her. It goes unsaid that Vidaria has sacrificed a lot more for the sake of her betrothal while Malleus has sacrificed basically nothing. And because concubinage is an accepted norm in the Draconia court, Yuulan could theoretically continue to be in Malleus’ life if she never finds a way home. She could even, potentially, bear the next Draconia heir. And so Malleus will be able to experience the joy of true love without many serious obstacles, something Vidaria can only dream of.

Her resentment is worsened by the fact that she has fallen in love with another person and these feelings are very mutual even if they are secret. Unfortunately, for many reasons no less because he’s human, the mutual pining Vidaria and Silver have for each other is likely destined to end terribly. She knows this, and yet her heart can’t help but love him and she has loved him for a long time. And while he will never admit it aloud, Silver has developed feelings for Vidaria as well. On the night Malleus and Lilia visit the damaged Ramshackle dorm, Vidaria sneaks off on her own as well and Silver is tasked with finding her lest she fall prey to kidnapping again. When Silver does find her, he finds her sitting alone, gazing at the night sky with tears in her eyes. 

They both notice the same stars in the sky as Malleus and Lilia and Silver suggests that they make wishes. However, Vidaria tells him there would be no point in wasting her breath because what she wishes for is something she knows she can never have. Silver then asks why she was crying when he found her but she retorts that she wasn’t. He knows this isn’t true but in a surprising moment, Vidaria asks Silver about the Thorn Fairy and if Silver thinks she was ever lonely, being so powerful and feared. Silver says he’s never really thought about it but he does remember one story where the Thorn Fairy apparently had a human lover. Vidaria has heard this story as well but also heard that their love ended tragically and wonders aloud if love between humans and fae can have a happy ending. Silver points our Sebek’s parents and then clumsily mentions that Malleus seems pretty attached to Yuulan. 

This later statement upsets Vidaria and Silver immediately apologizes. Vidaria isn’t upset at Silver, but laments that as much as she admires the Thorn Fairy, she couldn’t be more unlike her if she tried. She’s not only powerless, but loveless as well. Silver can see how distressed Vidaria is becoming and immediately goes to comfort her since her magic can become unstable/destructive in a heightened emotional state. He embraces her and tells her that she is indeed powerful and that she represents hope for the fae nations that there might be a peaceful future free of war or bloodshed. He also tells her that there are many people who do love her.

“Yes, many people do love me, as Briar Valley’s future queen. Just not my future king.”

Silver doesn’t know how to respond to this, as every response he forms in his mind feels out of line to him. So he just continues holding her until she is calm, and promises her that no matter what happens, he will always be by her side and serve her to the best of his ability. Secretly, he wishes upon the stars that even if he’s not allowed to love her, that he can at least, always, see to it that she’s happy. 

[whymustyouhurtmeinthisway]

Fuck it I’m bored

Top 5 favourite video games of all time

5. Monster Prom

Initially introduced to me by Twitch Streamer Shenpai, the Monster Prom series has become a favourite among me and my friends, and I’ve fallen in love with the characters and universe (with Zoe in particular probably being in my top 5 characters of all time, a list I might make another time). This series is the source of so many fun memories with my friends (with the first game being my favourite), and it’ll forever be in my heart. In terms of individual games however, Monster Prom doesn’t fully stack up to the others on this list (though it is really good and I recommend it), so in fifth place it goes

4. Kirby’s Return to Dreamland

I was very fortunate as a child that my very first Kirby game ended up being considered one of the best of the entire series. I adored this game as a kid, and it definitely affected me deeply on a psychological level, even to this day. Everything about this game’s artstyle, music, characters, bosses, and powerups still sticks in my brain, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving it. I think Dedede’s design in the remaster is a downgrade, but other than that this game as a whole is flawless.

3. Guilty Gear Strive

Those familiar with my blog know that the Guilty Gear series is one of my greatest passions, almost to a concerning degree. Though I’d already been acquainted with the series before this game, Strive was the one to get me fully into it, and I’ve heavily enjoyed playing it since the moment I bought it. The game’s artstyle and soundtrack is top notch (Daisuke Ishiwatari is a god amongst men), and Strive Leo is one of the most fun fighting game characters I’ve ever played. You may be wondering “why is it only at #3 then?” and the answer to that is similar to Monster Prom’s: I love the entire series more than I love any individual game, so I’m rating it lower on this game ranking than I would on a series ranking (on which it’d definitely be top 2). For now though, Strive holds a respectable spot at #3.

2. No Straight Roads

I love this game man. After hearing of it in passing occasionally online, I saw it was on sale on PS4 and decided to try it. From what I’d seen (basically just the game’s title and a few character designs) I expected a dialogue-heavy visual-novel-type game in which your dialogue choices change the path of the story (hence the name No Straight Roads) but I was dead wrong. What I got instead was an awesome rhythm-based bossfight beat-em-up in which an indie rock band named Bunk Bed Junction fights to overthrow NSR, the tyrannical music label that's taken over their city, featuring a fantastic artstyle, incredible OST, lovable characters, and loads of passion infused in every single aspect. Due to the indie nature of the dev team, some jank can be found in various areas, but I'll always be more than willing to excuse that in exchange for such a wonderful product overall. The game's fairly cheap and available everywhere, and I highly recommend that everyone reading this buys it and supports the dev team. ALSO TO THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW THERE'S A LIMITED TIME OFFICIAL SAYU PLUSH AVAILABLE ON MAKESHIP UNTIL THE 20TH GO BUY IT!!!

1. Final Fantasy X

I don't have an explanation for this one really, it just hit me a certain way. Please ignore the fact that I haven't actually beaten it yet, the Yunalesca fight is too hard and I gave up. Good game though.

[neitherabaron]

ooo you're playing persona 5?? O:!! how far are you!! what do u think of it? who's your favorite character(s)? :3c

I’m just past the Yakuza guy’s Bank palace, so perhaps 50 hours in given I’ve spent a lot of time exploring Mementos.

:readmore:

I’m having a lot of fun with it! And that’s saying a lot - JRPGs really don’t do it for me as a rule. I see why people like things like Xenoblade or Final Fantasy (and I actually adore FF XII btw) but that shit gets tedious very quickly for me.

But Persona 5… it’s charismatic as hell. I kind of love it, which again after 50 hours (and probably at least another 50 to go??) is something special. I think it’s the aesthetic and the story that grab me the most - the game’s pretty unflinching in its depiction of some …heavy subject matter but the upbeat characters keep it from feeling too grim. The music is gorgeous as well!

I guess I have found myself enjoying the “real world” time management and confidants side of the gameplay more than the combat and exploration though, and I wish my enjoyment was more balanced between the two main elements of the game. The palaces in particular feel like a series of empty rooms with monsters in them rather than places that tell a story about the characters’ inner lives, which feels like a missed opportunity.

The other modern (ish) JRPG I’ve recently played was Xenoblade Chronicles, which is not a game I personally enjoyed (mostly due to the combat) but I will say that every dungeon room in that game communicates something about the location it’s a part of - it feels more dynamic than Persona’s Palaces.

I also kind of wish your personas had more unique animations for attacks they can learn but the game’s already so stylish that it’d really just be the icing on the cake.

Ryuji’s my favourite guy - his slouching, bandy-legged awkwardness is incredible. Just the sheer energy that goes into every emotion he has. He only has big emotions. Awesome character!

So yeah tldr: I don’t really like JRPGs but I love Persona 5. The story and characters are top notch and the game is stylish as hell. There are some things I’d like it to do differently re combat and palaces but given that it’s not my preferred genre anyway I don’t think that’s important! Looking forward to seeing the rest!

[weaselandfriends]

hey! Just watched Players, and was interested in hearing more of your thoughts on it--in what respects you found it hewed true to your own research/experience. I've never engaged with eSports, but Players' depiction of "online masculinity" more broadly was very compelling to me, and reminded me of Jay from CQ, albeit with a more balanced/positive slant. I think that sincerity/positivity hurt the show by preventing it from exploring racism/sexism in gaming culture; you catch glimmers of it, particularly in the internet's reaction to Nightfall's replacement of Guru, but the show goes out of its way to avoid couching it in those terms, presumably to show eSports in a more sympathetic light. Race and gender are common themes in your stories; do you think you would have placed more of a focus on them? Also, have you seen American Vandal? That show's first season was memorable to me for its dissonant ending, which placed all that preceded in a new light; Players has a more understated version of the same, in which Organizm's inhuman, unhinged voicemail is shown to have perfectly predicted Creamcheese's feelings, thus humanizing it in retrospect--only for Organizm to reject this, sacrificing everything in pursuit of impossuble perfection. Many of the show's characters are embodiments of some skill/archetype, and it asks what exactly separates these paragons from ordinary people--which I felt closely matched your own style of characterisation. Thanks for your time!

I'll preface this by saying that I haven't actually seen Players. I just know about it, since it was heavily advertised on the LCS stream when it came out. I'll mention a fun fact though: Nightfall's actor is actually an ex-LCS pro named Youngbin, a Korean-American who once played for Team Liquid. As I understand it, the show also has cameos from many other real pros and esports personalities.

I can speak about some of the topics you brought up, though. First up, racism in the esports scene. This was one of the major topics I wanted to cover in my planned esports story. In particular, I wanted to use the story as a vehicle to challenge the idea of American exceptionalism. In League of Legends, the North American region is a distant fourth best, behind Korea, China, and Europe. In the early days of the scene it was possible to chalk this discrepancy up to infrastructure, especially when it came to Korea; having already developed a sophisticated esports scene due to StarCraft, Korea had an organizational and coaching edge over the rest of the world from about 2012, when the game first took off in Korea, to 2017, when big money investors in the other three regions were injecting huge cashflows into teams. This was an era of Korean dominance, where Korean teams won almost every time. To catch up, the other three regions would import Korean players to their regions as much as possible (since 2015 there have been rules in place to limit imports to 2 per 5-man team), and the only region to ever really catch up to Korea is China, which combined high-money importing of top Korean pros with the gargantuan Chinese server population (China loves League of Legends, it's like the national sport) to finally start winning some tournaments.

North America has consistently lagged behind even China and Europe, an issue mainly related to low server population and poor American internet infrastructure, which forces most prospective NA players to learn and practice the game on much higher ping than pros in any of the other major regions. On top of NA being bad, NA is consistently buoyed by high-profile import players, as opposed to "native" North American players. Actual American and Canadian players often take up filler role player positions around imported Korean and European stars, which has led to a general fact of life that Americans are simply not that good at the game compared to the competition. This is in spite of the fact that League of Legends is an American game made by an American company. It's a joke in traditional sports that Americans are only the best at sports they made, but in League, Americans aren't even that. I wanted to center my story around an American role player in a more supportive position like top, who would have to grapple with the fact that despite being in the top 1% of the top 1% of the top 1% of players, he was simply not good enough to matter beyond that.

Racism in the esports scene is an odd issue, because it's less "racism" and more "regionalism"--or xenophobia. This is due to the league format of professional League of Legends, in which regional leagues (Korea, China, Europe, and NA) feed into a major international Worlds cup. In a sports scene where teams are not tied to specific cities the way they are in traditional sports, this regionalism is often what drives fans to support certain teams, what causes people to root for a team that feels like "theirs." This makes the fan ecosystem closer to the way people root for teams or players at the Olympics or the World Cup, instead of what it's like in the NFL, NBA, etc. Where things get complicated in terms of League is that unlike the Olympics or World Cup, teams from a region are allowed to field players from other regions to represent them. In North America, as I mentioned, this issue is exacerbated because not only are North American teams bad, they're bad often without even being quote-unquote "North American." I mentioned before that there is an import rule that ostensibly ensures every team is 3/5ths comprised of native players. However, due to a variety of loopholes and also the United States' significantly more lenient legal residency and immigration restrictions compared to China, there are many players who were imported to NA solely to play League of Legends who are now technically counted as non-imports. At the most recent Worlds, NA sent three teams, and of the 15 players on those teams, only 3 were "native North Americans," the rest either being imports or former imports who got green cards, making them legally residents. One team was comprised entirely of imports or former imports. Meanwhile, other regions are represented by teams that have a majority of "native" players. So the fan ecosystem is designed around supporting "your region," but NA is in the unique position where "your region" is majority comprised of players from "another region." Hence the point of soreness.

The racism question gets further complicated by the racial makeup of "native" North American players, which heavily slants toward Asian-Americans/Asian-Canadians. Of the 3 "native" players at Worlds last year, 2 were Asian-American/-Canadian (the third was Quebecois). Doublelift, the most famous and beloved North American pro, on whom I believe Players' Creamcheese was modeled, is a Chinese-American whose real name is Yiliang Peng. The breakout rookie star of last year, Jojopyun, is a Korean-Canadian who "native NA" fans held up as the shining hope of native NA talent. Youngbin himself, who plays Nightfall, is a Korean-American "native" pro. This begs another interesting question: Is it racism to support Asian-Americans over Asian Non-Americans? I think this uniquely positioned sports ecosystem creates a complex and interlocking system of identities that is prime for exploration in a narrative format. With the prevalence of European importing, it becomes even stranger. Most of the white players in the North American league aren't Americans or Canadians, but European imports, who are often subjected to the same prejudice and bias among fans as Korean imports. THEN it gets even more interesting when you factor in country of birth, which isn't even tied to citizenship or residency. One of the most famous "native" North American players is Spica, who was born in China and moved to Philadelphia when he was 10 or so. He still has Chinese citizenship and is only considered a "resident" of the United States, exactly like many of those green card-holding "imports," and yet Spica is universally considered "native" talent by fans. Last year, one team (CLG) made a splash by fielding almost entirely "native" talent, and was held up by fans as the "native talent" team--even though one of their players, Dhokla, was born in India. So where is the line? What distinguishes "native" from "foreign"? This is such a complex notion of identity that I feel like I could talk about it for hours.

As for sexism, yeah it's just really sexist.

I guess it's a bit more nuanced than that. League of Legends is like chess in which there is ostensibly no physical reason why women wouldn't be able to compete at the top level, and yet there simply are very few women who do. I follow the League scene from the amateur system to the pro leagues, and it's not like there is a large number of talented female players who are simply being withheld chances to compete due to organizational/player/fan sexism. There have even been instances of major organizations creating all-female development teams, but these teams are generally comprised of players who simply aren't at a level high enough to compete in the major leagues. Every so often you get a female player or two in the amateur or development leagues, but they don't generally stand out enough to be realistically promoted to a major league team.

In all four major regions, there has only ever been one female player who competed at the top level, that being Remilia, a trans girl, whose story is brutally tragic. She was manipulated and abused by the owner of her team, Chris Badawi, who provided for her a botched gender-reassignment surgery that left her with permanent pain for the rest of her life, until she died by suicide some years later. As you might imagine, any fan discussion on Reddit that even tangentially involved Remilia was a graveyard of posts deleted by moderators. The prejudice there, sadly, is about as rampant and overt as possible.

This post went pretty long, especially since I haven't actually seen the show you asked about and wasn't able to give any more specific thoughts on it. Hopefully, though, this provides a bit more context to the strange and complex regional and racial identity issues in the scene.